I don't know how many of you are finishing, or have finished your mission papers (my guess would be none) but let me tell you it is quite the experience. I am not the kind of person that gets stressed...not just stressed easily, I mean stressed at all. I consider myself in many respects simply apathetic. I don't really worry about things in life because I don't believe that worrying or stressing will fix it or even make it better, but over the last 2 months I have experienced this anxiety that is called stress.
I blame my mission, I blame college, and most of all I blame sleep. Thanks to this new found stress reliever known as blogging I have been able to dissipate much of those feelings. At this point even I feel like I am rambling. I will address these in an organized manner though.
I can not remember a time, barring the last six months, when I have not been excited to go on a mission, to learn a language and to serve the Lord. It has been something that I was not only taught but something I have wanted to do as well. I would spend many sleepless nights thinking about where I might go, which language I would learn, if any. Until Jr. High the bulk of my thoughts were on this important topic. I would try to do all I could to prepare, and so by 13 I had read the Book of Mormon through twice. Now I don't really know if that is unusual and I don't say it to boast or make myself look spiritual but for you to understand where I came from. I would continue in this kind of path and it would lead me to many wonderful experiences, experiences that I will never forget and would never want to trade away. The gospel is just like that. The economy of the gospel is sure and consistent. I realized as my mission came within the year mark that though I had been the "good" Mormon boy I was not prepared for the trail that would be my mission. I still am not sure if I am ready and now I feel like I am caught up in a 4 month cram session. I have to learn not spiritual self-reliance for that comes from the gospel but a person self-reliance that one must have in order to survive 2 years away from home. I want to gain all of the knowledge I can, feel the spirit everyday, and always wake up with a sincere prayer in my heart. These in my mind our worthwhile goals, goals that will get me where I want to go. I am feeling better already. The stress of the Mish-prep is real but worthwhile, it is kind of like spiritual adrenaline that gets you ready for the greatest experience of you life. So for all of you who haven't gotten here yet...get pumped!
Next is college. The only reason this is stressful to me is because though I am not the smartest kid in the world, high school was a breeze. I never studied for anything, most especially not for AP tests. I took 4 tests and I think that the total of study for all of them was 15 minutes. I just never had to study, school had never required it of me. I didn't get a 4.0 but I really didn't feel the need for one. I never got less than a 4 on my AP exams, and I felt like I was a pretty kick trash student. Now again I am not saying this to boast for of myself I am weak, but to help you understand my dilemma. I am in college and yet I still don't study and let me tell you studying in college is a must. So with a lack of studying skills and a lack of understanding when it comes to homework I have left myself in a lurch with no easy way out, I guess I will have to learn to work.
Last but certainly not least, there is sleep. My greatest enemy. There is nothing I want more but there is nothing that hampers my ability more. I crave sleep. I love the feeling of slipping into oblivion, of losing awareness and I love the "out of it" groggy feeling that comes upon awakening. At the same time there must also be opposition in all things. I always feel at my peak at night. I am awake, alert, my ideas are flowing, and I only want to do what is right and good. My prayers are always more sincere and the spirit seemed heightened. I love those 2 or 3 ours of complete control and repentance. They are best of the day. So then I top it all of with that slipping into oblivion with the satisfaction that I am "all good". When I awake the next morning all of that is gone. Sleep has robbed me of the feelings I had the night before and it makes me a different person with the dawning of a new day. I still don't really know what to do about this dilemma. Many nights have been spent wondering how I can avoid the personality amnesia that comes from sleep but to no avail.
There are few things better in this life and expressing than talking about what and how you feel. It changes you and clears your mind. Those are my grievances and those are the things that seem to be plaguing me but I am reminded of the words spoken to Joseph Smith. If ye shall endure it well all things shall work together for your good.
I know this sounds like a testimony meeting, and a bad one at that but I really and truly can not separate the gospel from my life nor would I. It is my life, it is who I am.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
E-mails
It has been a while since my last post, not to mention that my latest was far to serious for my taste. I won’t be doing that again for a while. It does make me wonder about myself, and about my approach to life. Am I really a serious person who acts flippant at times or a flippant person who acts serious at times? Although it may not seem desirable I have always been partial to the latter but with that last blog I begin to doubt myself. I am afraid that these will be the questions that haunt me the rest of my life...ok well maybe not the rest of my life, maybe not even the rest of the day. On second thought maybe I am just a logical person who doesn’t sweat the small stuff. Well in any case this is not the blog to take care of this important question. So just about 30 minutes ago I was driving home after my back to back History classes (which always seem to open my mind) and I was thinking, as I listened to the radio, about something that I have never thought about before. Yesterday a friend of mine, who I was talking to on Instant Messenger said, "Oh, I was just about to send you an E-mail." As I reflected on this sentence today I realized something.
I understand why the process is called e-mail (Electronic Mail hence E-mail) but why in heavens name would we say I was going to send you an e-mail? When I said non-electronic or tangible mail I say that I sent a letter, not I just sent you "a mail". These incongruencies (did you know that incongruencies is not a word, yet it means what is says, I feel like Carroll or Shakespeare right now) cause me to wonder. No wonder so many immigrants have trouble with our language not to mention the natural born citizens themselves. Is it understood that we are fostering a society that is corrupting it's own language?!? I think we must not be and except it were for the good saints of the English world like Ms. Parrish (for you that don’t know, she is an excellent English teacher where I went to High school) the future of the English language would be in dire straits, even the most immanent peril. She, with her English department colleagues, is nearly single handedly turning the tide on linguistic decay, and to think we don't appreciate the significance of what they are doing! I am planning to Blog about my English experience and Ms. Parrish at a later date but first I need to get her permission. If you long to sate this linguistic hunger you must wait until my future installment which will be entitle, “Ms. Parrish”…or something like that.
I digress. The point is that I have decided to make a stand and from now on I will be saying. "Oh, I was just about to send you an E-letter." Surely that is more correct! I know, I know. What a dumb thing to take a stand on, especially when I will sound silly while doing it, but if I don’t who will. Now does someone really need to take a stand on so “silly” a point? I think so. I for one will be firm in this arena. I will be found using E-letter in every situation that demands it.
I challenge all of you to stand with me, to fight this demon that threatens the beauty of a Language that brought us Shakespeare, Elliot, Thoreau, Seuss and many more! If we do not unite now on this hollowed yet public web page, all could be lost! I hope that all will see the wisdom of this argument and will join with me by turning the internet world upside down by using the word E-letter instead of E-mail when describing what is being sent. Flood cyberspace with it, make it the vernacular of the masses! Together we can and will be victorious!
I understand why the process is called e-mail (Electronic Mail hence E-mail) but why in heavens name would we say I was going to send you an e-mail? When I said non-electronic or tangible mail I say that I sent a letter, not I just sent you "a mail". These incongruencies (did you know that incongruencies is not a word, yet it means what is says, I feel like Carroll or Shakespeare right now) cause me to wonder. No wonder so many immigrants have trouble with our language not to mention the natural born citizens themselves. Is it understood that we are fostering a society that is corrupting it's own language?!? I think we must not be and except it were for the good saints of the English world like Ms. Parrish (for you that don’t know, she is an excellent English teacher where I went to High school) the future of the English language would be in dire straits, even the most immanent peril. She, with her English department colleagues, is nearly single handedly turning the tide on linguistic decay, and to think we don't appreciate the significance of what they are doing! I am planning to Blog about my English experience and Ms. Parrish at a later date but first I need to get her permission. If you long to sate this linguistic hunger you must wait until my future installment which will be entitle, “Ms. Parrish”…or something like that.
I digress. The point is that I have decided to make a stand and from now on I will be saying. "Oh, I was just about to send you an E-letter." Surely that is more correct! I know, I know. What a dumb thing to take a stand on, especially when I will sound silly while doing it, but if I don’t who will. Now does someone really need to take a stand on so “silly” a point? I think so. I for one will be firm in this arena. I will be found using E-letter in every situation that demands it.
I challenge all of you to stand with me, to fight this demon that threatens the beauty of a Language that brought us Shakespeare, Elliot, Thoreau, Seuss and many more! If we do not unite now on this hollowed yet public web page, all could be lost! I hope that all will see the wisdom of this argument and will join with me by turning the internet world upside down by using the word E-letter instead of E-mail when describing what is being sent. Flood cyberspace with it, make it the vernacular of the masses! Together we can and will be victorious!
Monday, October 16, 2006
The Stake Choir
Before I get to the point of this blog I want to send out some wise counsel to all of you out there in cyber space. Don't get sick, and don't fall on your left knee in a parking lot. This might seem random to you but last night I was getting sick and I spent a night sweating my brains out despite the fact that I was freezing. It was certainly an experience to be remembered. Then this morning (still sick) I was awoken to my sister telling me that I needed to go to the gas station and give my Dad a jump. I went in my pajama pants that are beginning to not be pajama pants anymore and then the car would not be jumped. Little did we know the alternator and the battery are fine and the problem was the starter...go figure. So we decided to push the extremely heavy car into a parking stall, so that a tow truck could come get it. It is important to understand that I was not being my wisest self. I was wearing my brown dress shoes and I found as I pushed the car, they have zero traction on wet asphalt. I went down pretty hard on my left knee and found that my entire knee cap had begun to swell and it was completely black and blue. I tell you this not for your pity or for you to send your good vibes my way but to let you know that it is neither wise nor seemly to fall on your left knee in a parking lot.
Now to the main point. I have the opportunity to spend an hour to an hour and a half every week singing in Stake Choir. It is our Christmas Choir and I choose to do it every year, though at this point in the practices I don't know why. After being in Madrigals or any of "T"-Mamma's choirs it is somewhat of a let down to sing anywhere else. The quality of singing is not near as high, the speed at which the choir learns is drastically slower and the songs seem somewhat less than poetic. Though there is something to be said for a stake choir. I believe D&C 25:12 said it best. You can have the worst singers, singing trite and plain songs about Christ, but if there heart is in the right place, if they are thinking about our Lord and Savior they somehow find a new voice in that final performance.
The funny thing is that it shouldn't work. It is a classic argument. Do you let everyone sing? Even those that are tone deaf? Why cant we just get 8 very talented people and let them sing all of the songs? I am convinced that his approach would work. If you took the best 8 singers (1 for every part) and spent only 30 min a week learning the music you would have a better sound than if you simply allowed the masses to join and practice 3 hours a week.
You might ask why I am saying all of this; well the truth is more than anything to appreciate the opportunities to sing with the Saints. The reason we don't use the 8 voice system in the church is because quality doesn't matter. You might have a better sound with fewer more trained voices but the spirit would not be the same. There is something to be said of any large choir, but even more to be said of a group of saints gathering to sing praises to there God despite there weaknesses.
So that being said I guess all of the bad experiences that I have had with Stake Choir don't really matter. The voices that will never blend, those men who don't know how to use there falsetto, and the strange older gent who threw up in our performance last year not a foot from me. The smell wasn't that bad. I guess the point is just that things are not always meant to be perfect, just for the greater good. It is an opportunity to help those that don't know how to sing, learn to do it.
It reminds me of Ultimate. Those juniors at T-Ville could exclude those that aren't the best (like me) and just play games with the "elite" but for some reason they have decided not to exclude others from the joy but to share this wonderful thing with everyone. It is kind of like missionary work. It is something that has brought you joy, it is the good news so you want to share it with everyone you care about, and maybe those you don't so you can learn to care about them.
I think I have a bad habit of rambling, but the truth is that I kinda like it. This is me, the unedited, unabridged and uncensored edition. These are my thoughts and this is what I wanted to say. I might not be a good writer, some may think that I am frankly a bad and discursive writer but the important thing is that I got it all down. I was able to share my opinion and I didn't hold anything back, that to me is a victory in its own right.
Now that I have said that I have nothing more to express on this blog but thanks to all of you would make it worth while by reading it, even if you don't agree or don't like what I have written.
Now to the main point. I have the opportunity to spend an hour to an hour and a half every week singing in Stake Choir. It is our Christmas Choir and I choose to do it every year, though at this point in the practices I don't know why. After being in Madrigals or any of "T"-Mamma's choirs it is somewhat of a let down to sing anywhere else. The quality of singing is not near as high, the speed at which the choir learns is drastically slower and the songs seem somewhat less than poetic. Though there is something to be said for a stake choir. I believe D&C 25:12 said it best. You can have the worst singers, singing trite and plain songs about Christ, but if there heart is in the right place, if they are thinking about our Lord and Savior they somehow find a new voice in that final performance.
The funny thing is that it shouldn't work. It is a classic argument. Do you let everyone sing? Even those that are tone deaf? Why cant we just get 8 very talented people and let them sing all of the songs? I am convinced that his approach would work. If you took the best 8 singers (1 for every part) and spent only 30 min a week learning the music you would have a better sound than if you simply allowed the masses to join and practice 3 hours a week.
You might ask why I am saying all of this; well the truth is more than anything to appreciate the opportunities to sing with the Saints. The reason we don't use the 8 voice system in the church is because quality doesn't matter. You might have a better sound with fewer more trained voices but the spirit would not be the same. There is something to be said of any large choir, but even more to be said of a group of saints gathering to sing praises to there God despite there weaknesses.
So that being said I guess all of the bad experiences that I have had with Stake Choir don't really matter. The voices that will never blend, those men who don't know how to use there falsetto, and the strange older gent who threw up in our performance last year not a foot from me. The smell wasn't that bad. I guess the point is just that things are not always meant to be perfect, just for the greater good. It is an opportunity to help those that don't know how to sing, learn to do it.
It reminds me of Ultimate. Those juniors at T-Ville could exclude those that aren't the best (like me) and just play games with the "elite" but for some reason they have decided not to exclude others from the joy but to share this wonderful thing with everyone. It is kind of like missionary work. It is something that has brought you joy, it is the good news so you want to share it with everyone you care about, and maybe those you don't so you can learn to care about them.
I think I have a bad habit of rambling, but the truth is that I kinda like it. This is me, the unedited, unabridged and uncensored edition. These are my thoughts and this is what I wanted to say. I might not be a good writer, some may think that I am frankly a bad and discursive writer but the important thing is that I got it all down. I was able to share my opinion and I didn't hold anything back, that to me is a victory in its own right.
Now that I have said that I have nothing more to express on this blog but thanks to all of you would make it worth while by reading it, even if you don't agree or don't like what I have written.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
A Tribute...
Hello everyone!
I really don't know who will be reading this but hey I just wanted to make sure that if you are reading it you feel loved, acknowledged, and appreciated. I have come to be a firm believer in appeasing the masses. I know I like being happy and I know that most people I know like to be happy so I will be happy to oblige.
This first blog is to be somewhat of a Tribute. I first found out about blogging lat summer. I had heard about it but I had no idea what it really was. So you can imagine my glee when my sister allowed me to read my first blog written by the infamous Christopher Thatcher. Those that know him or have read his blogs will understand where I am coming from. Not only is he hilarious but his command of the English language is astounding. Now I don't think he would want me to praise him too much so I must acknowledge that he isn't the most eloquent author nor does he use the fanciest words but he is a veritable master of making you emotionally volatile through his writings. You feel what he is feeling (or at least what I think he is feeling). You feel like you are watching a Star Wars episode only Luke is now Thatcher and you want to just scream "Go Thatcher Go!! Don't give in to the Dark side, beat that slacker in you!" Aside: If you couldn't tell this subject is very emotionally charged for me. The point I am really trying to get across is that Thatcher has been an inspiration to me not only in the field of sports (Ultimate and Cross Country) but in the world of Blogging. Thanks Thatch!
So that Thatcher doesn't feel singled out I will pick on my fellow lurp Kyle Klein. What more can be said than his height says for him? The kid is incredible! I had the opportunity to be in Men's Chorus with him last year and let me tell you what...WOW! I haven't know him all that long but through my sister Marissa Worsham (see, same last name) I have had the excuse to spend some quality time with him. I learned to see the true measure of his (6' 5") stature in choir but also on the Ultimate field. I was very impressed with his sincerity and easy-going nature. So I made an added effort to seek out opportunities to get to know him better. After becoming his friend (I like to think that he considers me to be his friend) I would talk to him when I got a chance and tried to see what made him tick. I actually got the most insight on this in his blogs which were not only spontaneously funny but also very Kyle. I will illustrate. Last night is actually what made me finally decide to get a blog account when I read Kyle's blog on the "good ole' days". I definitely believe that the Power Rangers need to make a old school come back but that isn't the point. He was able in a way that I have not seen elsewhere to express himself and to make a statement, that might have been ridiculed in the "real world", without reservation. Thanks lil "k"!
Those are my tributes. I would like to add a disclaimer that I am most definitely heterosexual, in case you were getting any ideas. Sorry guys, you are cool and all but girls are just cuter. I hope that Thatcher and Kyle wont be offended by this heart-felt blog, which I hope they read. It was not my intention to embarrass them but to thank them for their positive influence that they have had on me and to praise them in public. Well maybe my blog isn't that public but hey I am only one guy with limited voice.
Special thanks to: the afore mentioned Marissa for her mad spelling skills, Don Harsh for spiritual support, Mr. Spell-Check for capitalizing my "I's", my parents for giving me life, Joseph Smith for restoring the Gospel, President Hinckley for leading the church, Nick Morandi for humbling me in Ultimate (I will blog this later), and finally the two stars of my blog, Christopher J. Thatcher, and Kyle J. Klein.
That's all Folks!
I really don't know who will be reading this but hey I just wanted to make sure that if you are reading it you feel loved, acknowledged, and appreciated. I have come to be a firm believer in appeasing the masses. I know I like being happy and I know that most people I know like to be happy so I will be happy to oblige.
This first blog is to be somewhat of a Tribute. I first found out about blogging lat summer. I had heard about it but I had no idea what it really was. So you can imagine my glee when my sister allowed me to read my first blog written by the infamous Christopher Thatcher. Those that know him or have read his blogs will understand where I am coming from. Not only is he hilarious but his command of the English language is astounding. Now I don't think he would want me to praise him too much so I must acknowledge that he isn't the most eloquent author nor does he use the fanciest words but he is a veritable master of making you emotionally volatile through his writings. You feel what he is feeling (or at least what I think he is feeling). You feel like you are watching a Star Wars episode only Luke is now Thatcher and you want to just scream "Go Thatcher Go!! Don't give in to the Dark side, beat that slacker in you!" Aside: If you couldn't tell this subject is very emotionally charged for me. The point I am really trying to get across is that Thatcher has been an inspiration to me not only in the field of sports (Ultimate and Cross Country) but in the world of Blogging. Thanks Thatch!
So that Thatcher doesn't feel singled out I will pick on my fellow lurp Kyle Klein. What more can be said than his height says for him? The kid is incredible! I had the opportunity to be in Men's Chorus with him last year and let me tell you what...WOW! I haven't know him all that long but through my sister Marissa Worsham (see, same last name) I have had the excuse to spend some quality time with him. I learned to see the true measure of his (6' 5") stature in choir but also on the Ultimate field. I was very impressed with his sincerity and easy-going nature. So I made an added effort to seek out opportunities to get to know him better. After becoming his friend (I like to think that he considers me to be his friend) I would talk to him when I got a chance and tried to see what made him tick. I actually got the most insight on this in his blogs which were not only spontaneously funny but also very Kyle. I will illustrate. Last night is actually what made me finally decide to get a blog account when I read Kyle's blog on the "good ole' days". I definitely believe that the Power Rangers need to make a old school come back but that isn't the point. He was able in a way that I have not seen elsewhere to express himself and to make a statement, that might have been ridiculed in the "real world", without reservation. Thanks lil "k"!
Those are my tributes. I would like to add a disclaimer that I am most definitely heterosexual, in case you were getting any ideas. Sorry guys, you are cool and all but girls are just cuter. I hope that Thatcher and Kyle wont be offended by this heart-felt blog, which I hope they read. It was not my intention to embarrass them but to thank them for their positive influence that they have had on me and to praise them in public. Well maybe my blog isn't that public but hey I am only one guy with limited voice.
Special thanks to: the afore mentioned Marissa for her mad spelling skills, Don Harsh for spiritual support, Mr. Spell-Check for capitalizing my "I's", my parents for giving me life, Joseph Smith for restoring the Gospel, President Hinckley for leading the church, Nick Morandi for humbling me in Ultimate (I will blog this later), and finally the two stars of my blog, Christopher J. Thatcher, and Kyle J. Klein.
That's all Folks!
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